


Limited Liquids

by CastielMorningstar



Series: Leaky Lucifer [5]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Dehydration, Desperation, Embarrassment, F/M, Fainting, Omorashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26109943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielMorningstar/pseuds/CastielMorningstar
Summary: Determined to not have a repeat of the stakeout incident, Lucifer takes a new approach to controlling his bladder. Except it isn't exactly the healthiest one.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Leaky Lucifer [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644274
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	Limited Liquids

Now that things had been cleared up and made more comfortable during his and Chloe’s talk at his club and his session with Linda, he finally felt ready to return to work and properly face her when she wasn’t mildly intoxicated and needy, as much as he found the latter to be quite enjoyable to watch.

Lucifer put extra effort into getting ready that morning, feeling the need to make up for that incident still, and he sprayed himself with much more cologne than necessary and put on some extra eyeliner before removing it again as he realized it made him look like a raccoon.

He tried to use the bathroom before he left, but as he’d discovered in the week he’d spent away from Chloe after the incident, he didn’t seem to have the need when Chloe wasn’t around; it made sense since she made him vulnerable and now apparently she affected his bladder too which was bloody brilliant. The one time he wouldn’t want to be bothered by that horribly human need unfortunately seemed to be when it cropped up.

But Lucifer wasn’t going to just sulk about it, he was going to just deal with it and be as diligent as possible to ensure what happened on the stakeout never happened again.

So he headed down to his car, sans his usual flask containing whiskey; in his research about the human urinary system he’d discovered that alcohol was a diuretic and therefore decided that to help himself avoid the issue or urination as much as possible, he’d just not drink today. Not just alcohol, he was consuming no liquid at all; he was the devil right so surely, he’d be fine?

“Hello, detective.” He answered his phone whilst he rode the elevator down to the garage, “I am attending work today in case that was the reason for your call.”

“Oh, good. We have a pretty important case to tackle.” Replied Chloe on the other end and Lucifer smiled at her relieved tone, although he felt a bit guilty for abandoning her at work for a week due to his own cowardess. “I’ll see you then.”

“Yes, see you then.” He hung up and pocketed the phone, strolling out of the elevator and towards his beautiful Corvette. “Today there will be no mishaps.” He told himself as he got in and started it up, “None at all.”

-

Fifteen minutes later Lucifer arrived at the LAPD precinct, a spring in his step, excited to return to work after his absence, even if a part of him was still apprehensive. He took a split second to subtly locate the men’s room, in case he needed to access it, then headed for Chloe’s desk where he could see the back of her blonde ponytail already bent over her work.

“Morning, detective.” He smiled, seating himself on the edge of her desk.

Chloe looked up and matched his smile, “Morning, Lucifer.”

He was silent for a second, expecting her to tell him about the case she’d mentioned on the phone, but she just looked back at her papers, “The case?”

“Oh, Dan actually took that one cause he needed to leave immediately, and they wouldn’t let me wait for you.”

Lucifer felt guilt bubbling in his stomach, “My apologies, I came here as quickly as I could…there was just traffic.” In reality he’d spent awhile in the bathroom straining his bladder to try and get rid of any possible urine it had stored, but he was never going to tell her that.

“That’s okay.” Chloe didn’t seem too upset, “It’s a Friday, lots of cases drop on Friday’s. We’ll just have to be patient.”

“Right- “Patience was never Lucifer’s strong suit, especially not when he was so on edge; he needed a distraction. So, he pulled up a chair and sat at her desk properly, watching as she filled out some paperwork. Lucifer hated paperwork, so instead of offering to help he pulled his phone out and started playing words with friends to keep his mind occupied.

An agonizing hour later where Lucifer had to deny the coffee he often had with his whiskey-another diuretic so definitely to be ignored-and any other liquids, Chloe finally was called to the Lieutenant’s office.

He waited impatiently then watched her emerge with a file and approach.

Lucifer’s hand reached for his inside pocket to where his flask normally lay, preparing to take a quick sip to prepare him for the boring case details he was presumably about to hear. But he found the pocket empty and frowned a little. It was for the best though, so he removed his hand and looked back to Chloe who was consulting the folder.

“So, a case just dropped. A man in his mid 30s was found out in the middle of nowhere, his chest carved open and a letter inside his chest cavity. That’s all the info we have right now, so should we head out there?”

Lucifer was relieved that the rundown had been brief because his focus was a little off today, since part of his mind was hyper fixating on his bladder, trying to detect any change in pressure to indicate a need; he was set on remedying it as soon as it cropped up, even if Linda had suggested holding it in order to expand his bladder’s capacity, he was too afraid of ending up caught short somewhere without a bathroom. “Yes, lets go.”

He strode towards the exit, but Chloe stopped him, grabbing his arm. Lucifer was confused, “Is everything okay, detective?”

Chloe nodded, “Yes, I just…” she looked a little uncomfortable and lowered her voice, “I was just thinking maybe you’d want to- “she gestured to the bathroom, “-before we go.” Her cheeks were a little flushed.

Lucifer’s face followed suit and he definitely was embarrassed at what she said, and a bit hurt. Was she really feeling the need to tell him when to use the bathroom like he was a child? “I’m fine.” He insisted, his tone definitely a bit hurt as he kept walking, “I am a fully grown devil, detective. I know how to take care of my own bladder. I’m not a child.” It was clear in his tone that he was bothered by what she’d said.

“Oh, Lucifer that’s not what I meant.” Chloe hurried to catch up to him, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you, I just…was looking out for you that’s all.”

Perhaps she was, but Lucifer preferred to keep this matter to himself, since it was all so new and personal. “I’d rather keep the details of that function to myself.” He replied semi-quietly, pausing as they reached the car, waiting awkwardly for Chloe to open the car so he could get in.

“I know.” She unlocked it and got into the driver’s seat, “Sorry, I won’t mention it again.” She felt really uncomfortable and awkward for mentioning it, and the ride to the crime scene was in complete silence other than the radio playing which was just to make things less uncomfortable.

Then once they got there, Lucifer got out immediately and Chloe sighed as he walked away, clearly not happy with that she’d said. She followed close behind him after she parked, heading for the body which really was laid down in the middle of a desert wasteland. “What do you have Ella?” she asked the Forensic Scientist who was knelt down beside the body, taking photos.

Lucifer stood close by, watching Ella and Chloe but not chiming in this time because he wasn’t feeling too great. Only a minute of standing out in the hot, relentless California sun and he was sweating and feeling a bit dizzy. He couldn’t really pay attention to the case, and instead removed his suit jacket and folded it over his arm, not wanting to dirty it by placing it on the sandy ground.

“Lucifer, did you get that?” Asked Chloe, turning to look at him and Lucifer just gave a non-committal nod, not wanting to lie and respond with a yes, instead letting her interpret his head movement as she wished.

Thankfully he was left alone for a little bit, during which he tried to find shade, tugging uncomfortably at his dress shirt as his vision started to blur a bit. He took a slow step forward to head towards a small cluster of palm trees but ended up stumbling and nearly falling over. What was happening?

“Lucifer, come over here.” Chloe then insisted, beckoning him to a man she was speaking to, presumably the person who found the body.

“Be right there.” He smiled, pretending he wasn’t suddenly feeling like a toddler who was just learning how to walk.

Lucifer braced himself to take another step but as he did, the world span around him and he lost his footing and ended up falling to the ground.

“Lucifer!” Chloe came running over while Lucifer shut his eyes, hoping everything would stop spinning. “Lucifer are you okay?” she seemed concerned by the fact that he wasn’t getting up, and he felt her hand suddenly on his arm.

He slowly opened his eyes blinking against the bright sun and met her worried gaze, “Just fine detec-“ he’d tried to stand up again, but that time instead of everything spinning, it just went dark and his body went limp as he passed out entirely.

“Lucifer!” Chloe went into full panic mode as Lucifer suddenly collapsed to the ground. Thankfully he hadn’t fallen too far as he had barely been standing when he passed out. But Chloe was still really worried. She crouched down and pressed a hand to his forehead, “He’s burning up.” She looked to the officers staring at them, “Someone help get him into some shade! And I need water.” She instructed and they jumped on it immediately.

Two bigger officers carried Lucifer’s unconscious form under the shade of a palm tree while Chloe gathered up his fallen jacket and hurried after them. Another officer fetched a bottle of water from their car and brought it over. Chloe thanked them and knelt down beside Lucifer and Ella ended up on his other side. Chloe grabbed his pocket square from his jacket and soaked it with water, placing it gently on his sweaty forehead, “Come on Lucifer, wake up.”

Ella was inspecting him and seemed to have a suggestion for his fainting spell, “His lips are all cracked, I think he’s dehydrated and then the sun got to him.” Come to think of it, Chloe hadn’t seen him drink all day, not even from the flask he always carried with him.

“Maybe.” She was really worried, she’d never seen him like this before, and it was scary.

“He’ll be okay.” Ella assured her, noticing how anxious Chloe looked, rubbing her arm, “He’s Lucifer, he’ll be just fine in a few minutes.”

Chloe just nodded and unbuttoned a few of his top buttons to give him more airflow, and that seemed to rouse him with a soft groan, “Lucifer?” she breathed, beyond relieved that he was awake.

Lucifer’s eyes fluttered a little before slowly blinking open, squinting against the sunlight, “Y’know detective, it is inappropriate to be removing my shirt at a crime scene.” His voice was groggy, but it was him, and Chloe gave a chuckle of relief at his stupid quip.

“Drink this.” She insisted, pressing the bottle into his hands and she was relieved as he raised it to his lips and immediately began to gulp it down like he hadn’t drunk in a week, “What happened?”

Lucifer drank like there was no tomorrow until the bottle was empty, and he felt a lot better, “I’m not quite sure. One minute I was standing, then I tripped and then everything went dark and I woke up under this tree.” He licked his dry lips, “I haven’t drunk much today I suppose, but I didn’t think that would be a problem.”

Choe sighed, taking the bottle, “Of course it’s important, Lucifer. Hydration is very important, especially in hot weather.” She helped him slowly sit up, “Anymore dizziness?”

Lucifer removed the cloth from his forehead and used it to wipe his sweaty, slightly sandy face, “It doesn’t seem so, but I still feel quite warm.”

“You should go sit in the car with the A/C on while we finish interviewing the witness.” Chloe suggested, grabbing his arm as he got to his feet, ensuring he was steady before letting go.

Lucifer didn’t want to leave, but he wasn’t feeling too great, and passing out once was humiliating enough, so he gave a reluctant nod, took his jacket from Chloe and slowly made his way back to the car with her keys.

He did feel a bit embarrassed, but he’d rather not pass out again, so he did as she said, even if he didn’t want to. Lucifer sat in the car, and cranked up the A/C, sighing in relief as it cooled him down. The devil was still a bit thirsty, but he just dealt with it. He felt way better after drinking that bottle of water and made a mental note to never dehydrate himself again, because that was horribly unpleasant.

But as he sat there, waiting for Chloe to finish up at the scene, he was soon reminded of the reason why he had decided not to drink today, and chugging a large bottle of water at once was certainly having an effect on him, the exact one he’d been avoiding today like the plague. It started not too bad, and Lucifer didn’t want to interrupt the investigation like a child by declaring to her that he had to pee. But he didn’t want to wait too long either and end up in a bad situation again.

So, he waited another fifteen minutes, and then when he was starting to fidget a little where he sat, he finally bit the bullet and got out of the car, even if the feeling of a full bladder was kind of enjoyable in a way. He walked slowly, both because he didn’t want to risk passing out again, and also because he didn’t want to jostle his bladder too much.

Chloe was talking to Ella again, and Lucifer stopped a few feet away, a little awkward.

Ella noticed him and hurried over immediately, “How are you doing buddy? That was quite a scare earlier.”

Lucifer swallowed and straightened his shirt, “Better, thank you.” He didn’t want to talk about it, but the reason he’d come over was more embarrassing, and he didn’t know how to tackle it with Ella around without making things awkward.

“I thought I told you to stay in the car, I don’t want you getting overheated.” Chloe spoke, coming over too.

“Well I was…but um-“ he bit his lip and shoved his hands in his pockets, “We uh…need to go.” He was trying to figure out how to phrase it in a way that would hopefully clue Chloe into what he really wanted to say, without being too obvious.

Chloe seemed a little confused, but when Lucifer ever-so subtly shifted his weight, she clocked it, “Oh, right.” She looked to Ella, “We have some other stuff to do at the precinct.” She lied for him, knowing that Lucifer himself couldn’t, and she didn’t feel bad telling a white lie for the sake of her partner.

Ella didn’t seem to make a big deal of it thankfully, “Oh okay, well feel better Lucifer.” She smiled and Lucifer returned it, relief flooding his body at the fact that she’d picked up on his cue so easily; although a part of him was a little embarrassed about having to tell her at all. At least he’d alerted her in time though…right? Where was the nearest bathroom from here anyway?

They both headed back to the car in silence, and even once they were both seated, they were awkwardly quiet, until Chloe spoke up, “Was this the reason you weren’t drinking all day? To stop yourself from having to…go?” she seemed a bit embarrassed to bring it up, but she seemed more concerned.

Lucifer lowered his head, avoiding eye contact. He knew what he’d done wasn’t the right thing, but he was so afraid of having a repeat of the stakeout that he hadn’t really thought it through right, “Perhaps.” He confessed softly.

Chloe sighed, “That isn’t healthy for you, Lucifer. I mean I know as the devil you don’t have the same need for liquids at humans, but clearly you still have some, and now you know what happens when you don’t hydrate yourself enough. Using the bathroom is just something we have to do, and account for in our lives, there’s no avoiding it as much as we both wish we could. My life would be way easier if I never had to think about that, but I do and so do you now. But it’s normal, Lucifer. It’s not something to be ashamed of.”

The devil listened to her little speech and just nodded silently to show he was listening. It felt a little like he was being lectured like a kid, but he knew he kind of had to be, with how clueless he was about all of this and all.

Chloe noticed his lack of verbal response and she paused for a moment before putting her hand on his arm, which got him to finally look up and she saw his cheeks were a bit flushed and he was still a little sweaty, “It’s okay, Lucifer. And I’m proud of you for letting me know now, so we can go take care of it without any issues.”

Lucifer had a bit of trouble keeping her gaze, but the pleasant tingles he got in his arm from her touch made up in part for the embarrassing subject matter. “I understand, detective. I will not dehydrate myself again, you have my word.” He assured her, realizing he’d have to find another way to cope with this new mortal need. “Can we please change the subject?” he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Of course.” Chloe patted his arm then retracted her hand and started up the car, pulling out onto the road, “Uhm, how was the rest of your night at Lux the other night?”

The two spoke for awhile about that night at Lux, Lucifer speaking carefully about his piano playing and…interactions with some ladies; he didn’t want to speak of it too much since he was very much interested in Chloe and didn’t want her getting worried that he didn’t like her that way. And Chloe told him the story of Ella trying to seduce some guy she thought was cute, then he got closer and they realized he was her old math teacher.

It was lighthearted and helped keep Lucifer’s mind off of things. But still the need was persistent and after fifteen minutes of driving with no building in sight, his stomach was starting to knot anxiously as his knee started to jiggle with need, “Detective…how much longer until we are near civilization?” that was code for ‘how much longer until I can pee in an actual toilet’.

Chloe peered out at the sparse, open road, “Um…maybe another five minutes?” This crime scene was really out in the middle of nowhere, which was what made it so strange. She noticed Lucifer’s nervous intake of breath at her words, “If you want I…I could just pull over somewhere with some trees- “

Lucifer didn’t even let her finish that thought, “Absolutely not. I am a refined devil, I do not urinate on a tree like a dog.” His cheeks burned a little just at saying that, but the idea of peeing outside did not appeal to him at all.

“Alright geez.” Chloe raised her eyebrows, “Just a suggestion. Y’know peeing outside isn’t that weird. I’ve done it before.”

“You?” Lucifer now seemed surprised, “I couldn’t imagine a lady like yourself doing such a thing. Now Daniel I would believe is enough of a caveman to take part in something like that. But not you, detective.”

Chloe shrugged, “Well it isn’t my first choice. But if you’re out in the middle of nowhere it’s the only option. Just be grateful you’re a guy, it’s way harder for us girls.”

Lucifer hadn’t really thought of that, and his throat tightened a little at the mental image of Chloe squatting in a bush to pee. It made him feel a certain way and the tingles below his waist got stronger, for more reasons than one. He awkwardly cleared his throat to hide any possible signs of arousal he’d given, “Still, I would prefer not to do so. I’ll even take a gross gas station over a tree.”

“Well once I see one, I’ll stop.” Chloe assured, glancing back from Lucifer to the road. “Shouldn’t be much longer.”

But Chloe’s five-minute time estimation turned out to not be very accurate. Because ten minutes later there was still no building in sight. By now, Lucifer’s long legs were pressed together and shaking slightly as he tried his best to hide his growing desperation, but right now if he was asked to rate his need on a scale of 1 to 10, he’d give it a strong 8.

As subtle as he tried to be, Chloe also noticed Lucifer’s growing restlessness and was getting a bit nervous about it, “Lucifer…if it’s getting too much, just tell me to pull over. I know you don’t want to, but it may be your only option.”

But Lucifer was stubborn as always, “I’m fine.” He insisted with a light blush, “Just drive a little faster, will you?”

The road was uneven, so Chloe had been going slowly so as not to damage her car or bother Lucifer’s bladder. But he was asking for her to go faster, so she did speed up a bit, and the car definitely started to shake a bit.

It wasn’t much, but for Lucifer’s full bladder it felt like he was being punched in the gut and he let out the quietest whine, his hand squeezing his thigh needily instead of squeezing where he had to because he refused to hold himself in front of Chloe like a child. But after only two minutes of this jostling, the need had gone up to nearly a 9 and Lucifer knew he had to give in. “Pull over.” He grumbled, “Please.”

Chloe sensed the need in his voice and the second she saw a spot with more covering, she pulled over. She wanted to say ‘I told you so’ or something, but that would be childish and likely only make him feel worse. So, she said nothing as Lucifer got out quickly and hurriedly hid himself behind the few palm trees there, and averted her eyes to give him privacy, even as some dark voice in the depths of her mind whispered for her to peek.

Lucifer stumbled out of the car and tried his best to hide himself behind the flimsy palm trees. He was nervous that someone would see, and while he was all for showing off how well-endowed he was, Lucifer had felt oddly shy about the whole urination thing since it had started, so he certainly didn’t want strangers or Chloe seeing him doing it. He trusted that she’d look away though, and there weren’t many cars driving by anyway since this was a fairly abandoned road. “Okay, come on.” He breathed, checking for the fourth time that he was hidden enough, shifting needily on his feet the whole time, then slowly unzipping his pants and pulling himself out.

It felt so wrong to be standing here, penis in hand, hidden behind a tree he was about to piss on. He was the devil for crying out loud, that was some very human problem right there, one he’d gladly have made fun of a week ago before he was forced into the same position. Lucifer got himself positioned, and tried to relax himself, but it was hard when this wasn’t the kind of place you were really meant to relieve yourself. “For goodness sake.” He scolded himself and rolled his shoulders, trying to untense his muscles and let it all go. And he did for a little bit. The stream started and he heard it trickling onto the ground and the tree and he sighed in relief as he did.

But then a car drove past, and he tensed up again, and the stream stopped. “Bloody hell!” he was frustrated now and that feeling really wasn’t helping him relax.

And then the detective was chiming in, having rolled down her window, “Are you okay, Lucifer?”

“Fine!” he snapped, not in a great mood, “Just give me a moment please.”

She said nothing else, and Lucifer tried to relax his body again, letting his eyes close and with any distractions out of his view, his bladder was able to relax and finish emptying, “Ah.” It felt good. Once finished he reopened his eyes, shook himself off and zipped his pants back up. He glanced down at the dark spot in the sand where he’d peed, and then he saw a faint glistening on the tops of his shoes, “Are you kidding me?” he’d somehow peed on his shoes, since his eyes were closed and he hadn’t been able to see where he was aiming. “Bloody hell.”

He strode over to the car and looked at Chloe through the open window, “Do you have any tissues in there?”

Chloe looked confused at first, but a smirk slowly grew on her face as she caught on, “You peed on your shoes, didn’t you?” she asked with a suppressed chuckle.

Lucifer sighed and looked away, “Its not funny. I was distracted by the bloody cars, so I had to close my eyes to focus so I couldn’t see what I was doing.” He defended grumpily.

“It’s okay, Lucifer. It happens.” Chloe assured, handing him some tissues from her glovebox, “Just clean it up so it doesn’t get in the car.”

The devil nodded and carefully cleaned up his shoes the best he could, disposing of the wet tissues behind the tree since they were paper and would decompose; he didn’t want to make Chloe’s car smell. Slowly he got himself back into the car, holding his hands out in front of him because he hated that he couldn’t wash them; he’d always been a bit of a germaphobe.

“Here.” Chloe was holding a bottle of hand sanitizer now, “I keep it in the car. Criminals are usually dirty and gross.”

“Is there anything you don’t have in your car, detective?” Lucifer managed a small smile and held out his hands as Chloe squeezed a bit into his palm, and he rubbed them together.

“A bathroom.” Chloe smiled, “I mean that would be way easier, huh?” She started up the car again and got back onto the road.

“Very true.” Lucifer’s own smile widened a little and he felt pretty good about how that was handled actually. He had succeeded and not made too much of a fool of himself.

Chloe glanced over at him, “Well, now you’ve officially earned the ‘peeing outside’ badge in the humanity guidebook.”

Lucifer actually chuckled a bit, “I suppose I have. Not particularly proud of it, but maybe if it happens again, I can earn the ‘not peeing on one’s shoes’ badge too.”

Chloe laughed loudly at that, and Lucifer joined her. Maybe this whole peeing thing wasn’t really that bad.


End file.
